Reading this made my heart sink because I know these feelings too well. The shootings happened 10 min away from me and 3 min away from my closest friend. I know people who were close to the victim’s sons and daughters. The Asian american community is small but not that small. I was listening to an Asian American comedian talk about how he was feeling and he stated “being Asian american feels like you’re supposed to give a fuck about everyone else when no one gives a fuck about you" and I think growing up as an Asian American woman, I see that, I feel that, and I want to make space for it. There’s a lot of grief. There’s a lot of anger. There’s a lot of remembering the times where the world gaslit your experiences and truths and tells you “oh it’s not that bad.” The feeling like you don’t belong in your own hom. The way you have to defend where you’re “from.” It’s too much.