DON'T BE SO ATTACHED TO ATTACHMENT THEORY
Are you anxious, avoidant, or hoodwinked by shaky science?
“The anxiouses got mixed messages from their caregivers, who sometimes responded positively and sometimes pushed them away, leaving the young anxiouses distraught that any fulfilling relationship will evaporate. They tend to fixate on a relationship, convinced that any brief lull in connection heralds catastrophe; they are the wounded Tinder warriors and tortured triple-texters of the dating universe. Such is the doomed cast of characters in the bedroom farce of attachment theory, with guest appearances by the “anxious-avoidants” (they can’t make up their mind!) and minor cameos from the “disorganizeds” (who have actual trauma as opposed to the normal kind.) If this sounds grim, the prognosis is worse: the anxiouses and avoidants are destined to attract each other, each reinforcing the others’ worst instincts about human relations. The anxiouses are forever pissing off the avoidants with their demands for attention, and the avoidants are perpetually seducing the anxiouses with an unavailability that only confirms the anxiouses’ core belief that anyone worth loving would find them vaguely annoying.”